My husband who is a pharmacist has great faith in your words and your knowledge. He watches a lot of porn. I hate it. He says it helps him to stay interested in sex. We argue often over this matter. He calls me abnormal. Kindly answer who is abnormal — him or me?
- H K B
It will not be correct to call either of you normal or abnormal. You are simply different from each other. Both of you have a right to choose what you like. Give that freedom to each other.
It is definitely a sign of sexual immaturity when one looks for excitement in pornographic films or literature. For such a person, sex is only skin deep. He is not adequately sensitive to the psychological and emotional components of sex. Counselling could help him to mature sexually and even otherwise.
Let me add that outside inputs are necessary when there is a lack of love between partners… when sex is merely a physical activity. This lack of love cannot be blamed on only one partner. Love happens between two sensitive human beings. Both of you need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own individually, or with the help of a good counsellor. Meanwhile, at least stop looking down upon your husband. Change your focus from him to yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to bring more depth into your relationship and make it more than sex — a sharing of intimacy.
- H K B
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| ASK THE DOCTOR - Is Watching Porn Normal for a Married Man? |
It will not be correct to call either of you normal or abnormal. You are simply different from each other. Both of you have a right to choose what you like. Give that freedom to each other.
It is definitely a sign of sexual immaturity when one looks for excitement in pornographic films or literature. For such a person, sex is only skin deep. He is not adequately sensitive to the psychological and emotional components of sex. Counselling could help him to mature sexually and even otherwise.
Let me add that outside inputs are necessary when there is a lack of love between partners… when sex is merely a physical activity. This lack of love cannot be blamed on only one partner. Love happens between two sensitive human beings. Both of you need to deeply examine your relationship, either on your own individually, or with the help of a good counsellor. Meanwhile, at least stop looking down upon your husband. Change your focus from him to yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to bring more depth into your relationship and make it more than sex — a sharing of intimacy.
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