Saturday, 4 February 2017

ASK THE DOCTOR - ‘I Feel Guilty Indulging in Sex’

My husband and I have been married for about 17 years. We are both spiritually inclined. We read a lot of spiritual books and we also practice meditation together. Of late I feel extremely guilty every time we indulge in sex. The passion during lovemaking makes me feel like a beast. My husband also feels the same. We both try to control aggressive moments and actions during sex, but it becomes very difficult at times. I feel extremely low about myself at the end of the every sexual encounter. I think something is going wrong somewhere. Do guide us to understand what is happening to us?
- N Salaskar

You seem to have learned that spirituality and sexuality are in opposition. Many so-called spiritual streams regard ‘sex’ as an obstacle or a distraction on the spiritual path. This is a myth. Sex is one of the natural instincts in us, gifted to us unasked, by existence. It is as normal and healthy as other functions of the body. True spirituality teaches the seeker to accept all aspects of life. Life is an invaluable gift, to be accepted in totality. To reject or condemn any aspect of the gift of life is in a way trying to improvise over existential wisdom. The passion during lovemaking is as existential and divine as the desire to pray and meditate. You can’t reject one and accept the other. It is the same energy that manifests itself in both the expressions. Don’t fight with nature. Feel free to express yourself ‘naturally’ during lovemaking with your husband. It is a culmination of the love that exists between you and thus a divine act. Sharing of intimacy does not make you less spiritual. The self-condemnation and the guilt that you are experiencing are more harmful to your spiritual growth than the natural passion.

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